jimbertimber: coming out to your parents by saying swiggity swag guess whos a fag
chrssy: riding your man like
17yr: this baby was drinking from a straw and tilted her cup upside down and it spilled all over her and i was thinking “what a fucking idiot” and then i realized its a baby and im just a terrible person
christinaposabule: hey wanna hear a joke well too bad someone on tumblr might take it seriously
cyberthug13: girl: Hey me: sup girl: sup me: enough small talk
plot twist: after yahoo buys tumblr we all delete our blogs and become productive members of society
shiny-things-are-pretty: Right now Yahoo’s probably like Oh god what did we do
fanserviced: Grab your dick and double click for...
pastbeforethewar: I hope yahoo doesn’t advertise tumblr on their front page
z1c: being 20+ on tumblr
“I’m breathin in the chemicals *snorts oregano*”
therapist: i feel u
the rapist: i feel u
shutupaubrey: team “i wore this yesterday but i’m going to a different place so it doesn’t matter”
hoodrach: wartortles: im thirsty i could sure go for a nice glass of sex right about now
rootbeef: gangstamickey: being hot but also feeling like you need something over your legs being hot but also being unable to sleep without a blanket
rhydonmyhardon: “how do you even find them attractive when they’re fictional characters and not even real?”
jaclcfrost: your icon shows who you are inside
kilisbeard: rolypolydandy: fapoleon-bonerparte: Napoleon’s walk was described as “something between a waddle and a swagger” HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK on my way to overthrow your country
mixedbyziggy: rescue three white women who have been missing for a decade, and a baby become a national hero pull and even bosser move and tell the fbi to give the reward money to the victims media decides to dig into your past, and bring up your criminal record. wonderful time to be black in america.
nymphettic: tyler the creator or w/e tweeted selena gomez saying something like ”now you’re 18 you can legally take my dick in your ass” and everyone thought it was funny and called him a legend amanda bynes tweets ”i want drake to murder my vagina” and she gets unverified on twitter and articles in the news saying she has ”gone crazy” and needs help
detrea: fuckyeahhugsandkisses: a-little-insane: the best part about being the little spoon while cuddling is being able to rub your butt against the person’s junk The best part about being the big spoon while cuddling is getting to rub your junk against the person’s butt The best part about the big spoon as that it lets me get bigger portions of ice cream as I cry alone in my room.
Remember when Muriel saw Courage’s porn?